Never name a company after a "Blue Potion" (BSPasta)
It was the start of 2010 and it was beginning to be a bad year for are company “Hags N Crap”. Are company stocks were being sold and we were very close to bankruptcy, we were afraid we would have to file for bankruptcy or sell are company for a small price. After the end of the month are boss said if we hadn’t got are selves out of are financial problem by the end of the new month he would sell the company to are worst enemy/competitor “SellzBluePotionz”. The sad unspeakable fate seemed almost unavoidable at first but we then realized we had an ace in the hole, we had the most stupid and repetitive Insanity device of all time that we like to call “Crazy Dessert Bus” which is a game we developed that is so senile that it will bore anyone who plays it to death within a few excruciatingly long seconds. It seemed perfect, that was until the boss found out shut the whole operation down for “substantial reasons”. It once again seemed hopeless yet still somewhat manageable, we then decided we would break into the SellzBluePotions headquarters late at night and burn it down once everyone had left the office, we immediately remembered afterwards that both the police and fire stations were located directly across the street so it would be more of a wish to get arrested then anything else. I decided to come up with one more idea before I went home so I sat down next to my desk grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and came up with the following scheme- -Quoted Audio recording from when are unnamed protagonist was writing his paper of ideas down- Audio recording started at approximately 10:02pm PT- “By now most should have realized that were screwed, after multiple hours of procrastination and drooling without a single idea I have come to the conclusion that are company is done for. Due to the fact, me and many of the other employees of this company never graduated High School I believe once the company officially closes down at the end of the month we will be unemployed for the rest of our days which will likely be filled of greed and theft, If you are reading this now you are most likely a worker for the company that purchased the building after we finally went bankrupt and sold are company for like 20 dollars or less. If so I hope for the sake of humanity that you have nothing to do with the awful scumbags from are former enemy’s, at the “SellzBluePotionz” industries as I can assure you that I planted a C4 explosives mechanism directly below my desk meaning the likely hood of your survival is at a slim probably of… eh who cares you probably died way before you got this point of my note anyways so why bother, not like I could have made the calculations anyways as for all I know this was never read by anyone and I am just wasting my damn time, not to mention the fact that the C4 was made by some random homeless guy I met one day before are boss told us we went bankrupt. A little ironic if you ask me seeing as how the second the company closes I will also be homeless as well since the bank has this strange unemployment rule on their houses. To conclude I simply want to apologize for all the time I wasted in life and say BLUE POTIONS ARE IN STOCK AND NOW YOU MUST BUY FROM MY SADISTIC BLUE VAN SHOP; Done, now all I need to do is… interruption followed by sudden screaming “DIE” strange presence is heard in the room as the protagonist head is cut clean off by a strange allegedly deranged figure -Audio stopped here roughly 3 hours and 27 minutes after it began or at 1:29am PT- -The last thing heard by the protagonist before death was a faint laugh and what was believed to be the word “Blue”. All indications to provide whether this is true or false have ceased as well as media attention with the reasons for this still being unknown to this very day.